Ms. Smartypants.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Those First-Day-Of-School Nightmares

(Summer vacation)

You know the ones I'm talking about: where you can't make it out of the house, where you arrive so late it's after 3pm, where you can't find any of your classes, where you show up naked, etc. Well, let me tell you, those nightmares are one thing when you're a student and altogether another when you're a teacher. That is, if any of the above actually happened it's far more damaging.

My specific dream last night was the one involving not finding any of your classes. In fact, as I was looking for them I realized I didn't even know what my classes were. I just went on an assumption from the sketchy timetable I heard about back in June. That timetable was: grade 10 math first period, prep/lunch second, grade 10 keyboarding third, grade 9 band fourth, and prep/lunch fifth (that's right, no true lunch period). I knew I had a math class first, so I wandered over to the math wing -- or so I'd intended. I couldn't find that wing for the life of me. Of course, even if I did find the wing, I'd have to make a guess which classroom I'd be in.

Now that I think of it, I did find the math area eventually. All the rooms had been switched around and the office was relocated to become several, much smaller offices. I walked into the only one I saw -- a closet of an office -- and said to some teacher,

"Yikes! I hope my desk wasn't put in here!"

To which, she replied "No, no."

Relieved, I sat down in someone's chair and relaxed for the rest of the period. Now that's good work ethic!

Later in the dream I made my way back to the music department, but I realized the day was over and I didn't remember seeing a keyboard or a band class. I consoled myself with the thought that the first day doesn't really count anyway, and I was sure the students probably didn't show either.

Of course, tell that to the math department. There, you teach the first part of the first chapter on the first day of school no matter what course! No, this wasn't in my dream, that's actual reality.

It's this expectation that had me wake up to a real-life nightmare: I have to plan lessons for the first couple of days of math class this week! Not only that, but I could find out that I'm teaching a completely different course than I'd originally assumed.

That was my dream, folks. I skipped over some parts with worse cases of unprofessionalism, including me fearing for my job as my boyfriend took me into a bathroom stall for a "quickie". I guess that's one major difference between student and teacher first-day-of-school nightmares. Any student would consider that day a profoundly successful one.

And now there's:

7 days left until school.

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